I want to tell you a story.
A story about a boy that had no idea how to express his feelings , his knowdlege.
One day , walking back home after a long stroll , one strange creature appears in front of him.
Scared at the first sight , the boy start running but he dosen’t manage to take a few steps and the crature stops him.
– Why are you scared young man?
I will do no harm , I am here only to talk with you!
– Who are you? What are you?
( the creature smiles. a warm , peacefull feeling surrounding the boy )
-Have a seat! I don’t have much time!
You will understand who I am , I promise you!
-Please , just listen!
-I was send here to tell you that is ok now to knock on , let’s say bigger gates , not only doors.
-What?! What do you mean , I don’t…
-Shhh…! Just listen , you will understand!
You know it already , just….please , listen!
( the boy adapted a sarcastic attitude,crossing his arms and lean back on a near by wall )
-Go on , I’m listening!
( the creature smiles approvingly )
You are aware , you feel the infinit existence of the soul , spirit , energy , call it whatever.
You have no more doubts!
You know for sure that what you are doing here it matters after you’re gone!
Any action have a reaction and you my friend , you are fully aware of this.
This piece of infinit you’ve managed to see , lives in the same time with you , that’s what you are , that’s what you breath.
( the look on the boy face , changed . the creature continues )
You will suffer and crave a lot in this life because your universe is way to comprehensive , far-reaching for somebody to grasp and you will never find someone brave enough to let himself get lost in it!
Still , many will be amazed by your greatness , some will even find bravery to take a step inside and this will wipe away , for a moment , your desolation.
Your love for them will make you lie to yourself and when they will be gone , the immensity of your univers will scare you for a while.
( the creature starts walking back and forward like a teacher holding a class. the boy seems to listen )
– You are not possessive , you let all of those that step inside , play with your ”toys” , with everything they may find there.
This dosen’t bother you , not an all , more so is on the contrary!
Then , when you find yourself alone again , you start cleaning the mess they left behind. Putting back all the ”toys” they’ve played with , fixing any of them if any broken and so on.
In this time , promising that you will never , never let anybody else touch those things , make this mess!
We both know that this ain’t true , you are only lying to yourself again!
( both of them are smileing. the boy is trying to say something but the creature carryes on )
-Now , the more the ”toys” of the one that have been playing with your ”toys” are more dirty , broken etc. ,the bigger the mess is!
You see young man , not every one will make the same amount of mess. I’m talking about the ones that had enough courage to enter…
You are asking yourself why , don’t you? As long as somebody has entered , you let him do whatever he wants , you say. That’s true , I know….
Well , it ain’t like that.
Sometimes they are un-welcomed guests.
Then you hide some ”toys” and close some of the doors.
( the boy was contemplateing . a moment of silence and then the creature continues with a changed voice. more powerfull , more ”full of life ” )
– But when you love , I’m talking about real love , you don’t hide anything , you keep all of the doors open , all the ”toys” exposed , even more you give a tour of the ”house” you let her see every corner , everything you are , everything you have.
Love makes you unable to hide anything , even the most dirty , old , nasty ”room” or the most broken ”toy”.
This honesty of yours all together with the enormity of your ”house” , scares!
( the boy was not sure yet but the creature seemed to start floating a little above the ground )
-I’ve told you , you will never find someone who will to excuse the dirtyness of some of your “rooms” and in the same time , let herself blinded by the greatness of others , clean and beautiful , shineing and sparkling.
-Why are you telling me all this stuff?
Have you asked yourself what if those things may hurt me?
What if I don’t want to talk about this?
-You understood that love forgives anything , fixes anything!
( the creature acts like it didn’t heard what the boy said )
I’m glad that you’ve managed to keep the knowdlege that the love limits , shrinks.
When you love , you are isolating yourself in a corner of your house and let the other do whatever he wants with all the stuff you have. You don’t put any restrictions , you hide nothing!
Love is blind!
Even that a voice somwhere there is screaming “Be carefull , what if that thing or that thing will get broken it will take you a lot of time to fix it or even worst , it will get un-fixable!” Even so , you still don’t act… ha! Love , love , love…
( the creature take a short look at the boy. )
-I’m amazed by your will!
Even now when I’m explain you things , other questions are born , other doors are being unloked , because any question is the key for another door!
And for as long as the infinity will exist , there will be infinit keys and infinit doors.
You are brave! You are not scared about what you may find on the other side of the ”door”.
You just open it , if is clean and nice , you take it as a blessing , if not , as a leason , as a challenge.
This is what I like about you , my young friend.
– You still did’t told me who you are!
Ho do you know so much about me?
– Soon my friend , soon…
I think trying to grasp the infinity it can be sacry but it must be terrifying not to ask questions!
You don’t have to tell me , I know , I know you’ve been there young man. There where everything seemed fine and that there’s no more to find out , nothing more to know.
I was super-happy when you’ve realized that you hold the key for any , ANY door that you knock and it dosen’t open!
( the boy was astonished. when he looked at the creature again , what in the beggining was a hideous , now was a beautiful , full of light angel-like creature)
-Carry on my friend , you now have higher hills to climb , bigger gates to open but be aware that non of them will bring you happiness and you will suffer.
My time for now , here is over , I will come back! There are still a lot of things I need to tell you!
Have no fear , I’ve always been with you , I will allways be with you!
( the angel started to fade away. the boy was mute , his words didn’t found a way to get out. In the last moment before the angel to fully disappear he said something that the boy didn’t quite understood. )
-You are me?!
End of first part.
For Maureen ,with love!
I miss you!